In case you didn't know, this week is National Eating Disorder awareness week. Usually I try hard to be light, pick a song title that fits well and make sure that I'm at least semi-funny (I'm not as funny as I think I am) when I do write... but this is a subject that is not funny. At all.
Eating disorders are not punchlines.
That joke you made about that girl "looking anorexic" isn't funny. IF that girl or anyone around you even WAS anorexic that joke would be slap in the face and would not help the situation at all. In addition someone who is skinny does not necessarily have an eating disorder. Along with that, you don't have to be skinny to have one. People with eating disorders don't wear signs or buttons to let you know. They are everywhere.
Eating disorders are not punchlines.
When you start talking about how throwing up all of your food is the solution to your problem or you make light of anything regarding that subject, please please remember that there are people out there that would give ANYTHING to keep their food down. There are people out there that would love to not want to throw up every time they eat. There are people who do, and bulimia is ruling their life.
Eating disorders are not punchlines.
To those of you that think that eating disorders are all super skinny people who are just insecure and don't eat anything, please remember that eating disorders come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees. To those of you that think that people who eat "normally" can't possibly have an eating disorder, I introduce binge eating disorder. Binge eating disorder is an eating disorder characterized by recurrent episodes of eating large quantities of food (often very quickly and to the point of discomfort); a feeling of a loss of control during the binge; experiencing shame, distress or guilt afterwards; and not regularly using unhealthy measures such as purging to counter the binge eating. Binge eating disorder is a severe, life-threatening and treatable eating disorder and is not something to take lightly. It isn't someone just eating their feelings or porking out.
Eating disorders are not punchlines.
This may all seem heavy and this may all seem dark, but just remember that every single time you make a joke about or make light of these very very real, life-threatening disorders, you are making light of something that is destroying a person around you. The most common jokes I hear are about anorexia, but all of them are hurtful and you never know the impact they will have on those you are speaking to. Those who are fighting eating disorders are not going to make it public knowledge, so they could be anyone. The person you are making that joke to could be fighting that horrible thing that you have made a punchline.
Eating disorders are not punchlines.
Eating disorders are not something you can simply talk someone out of. Telling someone that they are just being dumb and they look fine, does not change what the disorder is doing to their mind. Eating disorders change the way they see themselves in the mirror. Those that suffer from them sometimes even have imagined rolls of fat or imperfection that no one else may see, but to them it is all that they see. Eating disorders are not something that can be laughed off as crazy because to the people fighting them, they are very very real. They are horrible monsters that invade the mind and destroy from within.
Eating disorders are not punchlines.
Another common misconception about eating disorders is that there is some sort of magic fix-all cure and if the people would just do it, they would be fine. It's just not that easy. That person will have to fight those thoughts probably for the rest of their life. Seasons of hardship will often bring back symptoms which is why eating disorders are seasonal. There are months, weeks, days, years, or any possible length of time that can just be hard no matter how well the people seem to be doing. People aren't being stubborn or over-dramatic or attention-seeking when they deal with these issues. Real eating disorders are not something to be laughed off as people being overdramatic or a "I saw you eat last week. You're fine so stop being dumb." It seems crazy that anyone could ever say that, but I have heard it. The laughter didn't fix the problem.
Eating disorders are not punchlines.
I don't write this to make anyone feel guilty, uncomfortable, or upset... but I do write this to make you guys more understanding, compassionate, aware and educated.
I've told you a lot of things that eating disorders are NOT, but I'm going to tell you quite honestly what they ARE.
Eating disorders are like living a nightmare. They turn your own mind, eyes, and body against you. If you are having a bad day and eat even the smallest thing or the most fattening thing or whatever it may be, it can shut you down for the day. Eating disorders are like a monster planted in your brain that critique, evaluate, and condemn you for everything that goes into your mouth. You feel guilt, shame, disgust, and pain for eating things that the average person doesn't even think twice about. They can cripple you to the point where you are physically ill because you ate one thing that your mind did not like. They are deadly conditions that thrive in isolation. Frequently eating disorders and depression go hand in hand and feed off of one another. The best conditions for the eating disorder to dominate and destroy are in depressed people who feel alone and feel like no one cares about them. This explanation can probably help explain why they are prevalent in teenage girls, but can still be found in many populations and people groups. Eating disorders make you feel unworthy of love, friendship, attention, or kindness which can often lead to suicide. Eating disorders destroy lives and kill people. They change who the person is and transforms them into an unrecognizable person that is a shell of what they once were.
So please above all speak carefully and speak in love. It's okay to tell people who are fighting that God loves them. It is not okay to say, "Well God made you perfect, so are you doubting God?" Don't doubt their faith, but do inspire it. You can have faith and still be battling a health issue, so don't make it about that or about the sin aspect of it. Don't make them feel worse about the hardest battle of their lives... but do pray for them. Do hold their hand and tell them that you are there for them. Do go to meals with them, talk to them, laugh with them, and distract them from what is probably the hardest part of their days. If someone trusts you enough to open up to you about this very difficult subject that is almost taboo in our culture, please don't respond with judgment and condemnation. Don't respond with a joke or telling them that they are dumb to even think that. Just tell them that you love them and ask what they need. One person on their side, could make the difference. Knowing that there is one person out there who loves them, wants them, and is pulling for them could change everything. Having that one person who cares enough to ask how they can help and telling them they want to help them get better, could be the motivation. Sometimes its easier to fight if you know that there is someone who wants you to fight and wants you to stay in their lives.
I write this so that in this National Eating Disorder Awareness week and the other 51 weeks of the year, you will be able to help heal the hurting and lead them to a God that will hold them through anything. I write this so that you will be more understanding and loving when faced with these horrible disorders that most can't understand or fathom. I write this so that you can remind them that their worth is not in their body, the people around them, or even in themselves. Their worth is in Jesus Christ who sacrificed everything for them and if a perfect man and perfect God was willing to die for them, then they must be worth much more than they think. Remember that someone fighting this could be your neighbor, the guy across from you on the bus, your best friend... absolutely anyone.
Eating disorders are not punchlines, but they can be turned into a crazy ministry opportunity. Think before you speak and remember to speak in love.
Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. - 1 Samuel 16:7
